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Sunday, May 16, 2010

Liberation!

Hey guys!

I had never realized until I moved into the cultural town of Ottawa Ontario, that being from West Indian descent was such a blessing. All my life I grew up in the this tiny white town, I was pretty much for the longest time the only ethnic girl in school. I felt so different even though there were times I would look at myself in the mirror and not see color...or dark features...even when I looked at my parents I never saw that my mom was white and my dad black...they were simply my parents...but everyone else seemed to notice.

I never felt I could be who I was supposed to be, and I could feel that side of me so submerged beneath what I was displaying. I knew full well what I was projecting was not really me...I could dance better than all the girls in school, I liked different music, I had the ability to have versatility in my voice when I sang, I could sing anything, I liked different clothes I saw in magazines...it could go on forever...

When I finally left...it was cool to be black in my town...it took the people in my town 10 years to accept me as I was. At times it seemed as though it were cruel and unusual punishment to live there and have no other choice but to embrace my life or what life I had.
I moved to Ottawa and for the first time in my life other than seeing my Dad, I saw black people. Not just black, African, Caribbean, Hispanic, Arabic, Asian...you name it...then there was where I fit it...mixed. My home girls refer to us as "Half breeds"- all in fun mind you (not meaning to be offensive). I was so shocked. I called my dad after the first week and was like OMG DAD there's people here like me!

So I learned...I tasted new food, I dressed for my body type, I wore colors that brought out my skin tone rather than washed it away which what I tended to do to fit in back home. I danced the way it flowed in my blood, I cranked reggae, hip hop and soca in my room! This whole other world was revealed to me and for the first time I felt like me...
I am so proud to hold a Jamaican flag...
Last night I was in a Caribana Fashion Show with TruDYNASTY...I was in costume, feathers, makeup, heels- reppin MY people...I can't tell you how liberating it was to be apart of something that runs in my blood. That expresses so deeply part of the culture I come from...last night I felt like I was me and I loved it.

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